He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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