i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
