so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
