so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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