In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
