so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
