Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
