I accidentally burped into my bong.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drunk is not a location!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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