Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
