I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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