I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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