Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
