I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
