Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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