Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
