you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You are a genius and a whore.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
