All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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