im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
