y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
