I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
