I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
