is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
