Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
