Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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