I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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