They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
