There was a lot of him and a little penis
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
