it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
