i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
