He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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