first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize