get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
