Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
