does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize