Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
zippers are such a cool invention
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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