very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
