Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
