I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
