i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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