That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
