so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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