My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
