And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
