Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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