To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
