I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
