when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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