if i can run in heels then i can drive
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
