I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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