I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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