Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
