suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
