he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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