i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
