absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
