i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
