Duck Duck Cougar?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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