HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is this like a preordered booty call?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize