no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
