ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Help. Why am I so naked?
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