Im at strip club and am horny
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
