Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can text with my tongue
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
