Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
