this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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