That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
