Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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