You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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