Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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