The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
