i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
