omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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