Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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