i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
